I’ve had my eye on someone for some time and while he’s not exactly my type, I feel this could be the start of something truly beautiful. Of course, I know that there’s no guarantee and every human relationship is taken on consignment but this time, I’ve got a good feeling. And, anyway, I’m tired of dithering. I’m going to take the leap: I’m going to have an affaire with myself.
I’ve known him for years, since childhood really. He was always someone who was just there. After a while, I guess I stopped paying attention to him, took him for granted. Sometimes you get so used to someone that you don’t even notice them anymore.
Until one day, you do. And your world changes.
Physically, we are remarkably similar, so much so that people sometimes confuse us on the street. However, our personalities are worlds apart. I smile a lot and am relentlessly optimistic; he tends to expect the worst. I’m a goody-two-shoes while he relishes breaking the rules. I like to plan and organize but he is fatalistic, a bit dark in his world view, and says “What will be will be.” I like to please people. He’s convinced everything’s going to fall apart anyway and we’ll all die alone, so what’s the point?
You’d think that conversation — let alone a relationship — would be impossible between us. But somehow, in spite of it all, we click.
Our differences often complement each other. I talk way too much and overshare but he’s a man of few words. I get effusive and carried away while he’s sober and has a touch of ruthlessness. I follow my passions and intuition; he’s what I would call “strategic.”
Lately we’ve been spending more and more time together. We hang out. We cook together. He has an uncanny ability to know when I’m in the mood to talk and when I want to keep silent; when I’m feeling playful and silly and when I’m dead serious. He knows how to read me. For my part, when he’s in one of his moods, I know not to push him.
We talk about how improbable it all is — how we both missed the signs over the years. Only, I think he was aware of it all along and just knew how to wait. Good for him. Like I said before, he’s strategic. In the end, I guess we were both right: the best love stories are equal parts improbable and absolutely inevitable.
I have a friend who married herself in a public ceremony. While I’m happy that she found the perfect partner, I think neither of us is ready to make such a long-term commitment. For now, we’re just going to have an affaire.
We’ll let you know how it goes.
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